Almost Real News is about as well researched and accurate as you would expect. All content on this blog is written for the sole purpose of entertaining its writers and should not be taken as fact. Any likeness of characters described on this blog to real people is pure coincidence since everything here is entirely fictional.
Nothing may be reproduced because, really, why bother.
If you experience symptoms of rage or litigiousness lasting more than four hours after reading this blog, please call your doctor to schedule a lobotomy.
Thoughts on Satire versus Fake News
Not a day goes by without someone on the street stopping the writers of Almost Real News and asking about this Fake News phenomenon. What it is Fake News? Are you Fake News? Can I catch Fake News from you if we make love?
Our answer to those questions would be moot. But here are a couple points to ponder when deciding for yourself if our website has created something satirical or created Fake News.
Fake News desperately wants to be believed, while we take pains to be ridiculous.
- We could have named this site TheScrantonStar.com or ThePhoenixMessenger.com or anything remotely sounding like a place that employs journalists. We didn’t. Our articles don’t need to point you to our disclaimer. They do. And we wrote a disclaimer. A DISCLAIMER. Furthermore, have you read our articles? I can’t believe anyone who has read our material would think it was real, because anyone stupid enough to think that wouldn’t be able to read.
- Fake News wants to persuade people by taking something outrageous and convincing them it is possible. It takes some doubts and generalizations to the extreme and then nudges the line a little further in the hopes a reader just accepts it. We, on the other hand, try to find the absurdity in everyday life and expand that that until it’s unbelievable.
So take a little time and think that over. Unless you are not very good at thinking, in which case just believe whatever I say next: We are writing satire, not fake news. Also, send $100 dollars to 555 Dum Bass Lane, Hackensack, SD, 55555.
Okay, Here Are Some Things About Us
AlmostRealNews: is a Russian spam bot and cannot be trusted.
Editor-in-Chief: is just your average, run of the mill 400 pound guy sitting on a bed somewhere.
SummerIntern: hasn’t written a goddamn thing yet and is about to get thrown out on his ass!!!