Almost Real News has partnered with the National Academy of Science and Things to survey America's fathers and determine once and for all what dad is doing in the bathroom.
- Taking a 45 minute shower to rinse off the stench of failure.
- Folding bath towels into swans to enhance the bathroom's spa-like quality.
- Watching YouTube videos on how to deal with children who are dissappointments.
- Sneaking some of Mom's wrinkle reducing eye cream.
- Just holding his head in his hands and rocking back and forth.
- Waiting it out until the next election.
- Crying because of something you did.
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