In a valiant move earlier this month, Minnesota Republicans finally stood up to protect insurances companies from the old and the sick. The Minnesota Reinsurance bill will direct state funds away from fat cat citizens and into the hands of needy corporations.

“Let me be clear – not a penny of these state funds will find their way into the pockets of any greedy Minnesotans,” said a Republican House representative. “Rather than giving individuals rebates to offset high premiums, we are giving our tax dollars directly to corporate insurance providers for claims that exceed $50,000. These poor companies have been preyed upon by ‘healthcare vampires’ who want all the healthcare¬†they can sink their teeth into!”

Democrats in the state have argued that reducing insurance costs may not directly impact the prices that insurance companies charge consumers, and that providing subsidies to insurance policy holders would be a better solution. Republican leaders have called that idea “un-American” and suggested that anyone who wants to help individual citizens with a government program should go back to communist Russia.

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