The National Academy of Science and Things has released a new study showing that almost all of the traffic to the popular jobs website Monster.com occurs in the moments after someone speaks with your boss.

“It’s an astounding discovery,” reported Dr. Herman Mylac. “Something like 97% of all the traffic to Monster.com comes within 60 seconds of someone having a conversation with your manager. In particular, right after they refill their coffee at about 9:30 and then swing by the cubes of everyone on the team – that drives 41 percent of all page views for Monster.”

Additionally, the study found that about 70% of all traffic to Amazon.com happens on days when your manager is home sick.

Almost Real News is a satirical website committed to bringing you stories that are 100% almost true. You can learn more about us and read our disclaimer here.

Advertisements