President Trump announced today he planned a huge President’s Day party in his honor as way to celebrate all the accomplishments he’s made during his first month in office.

The statement from Press Secretary Sean Spicer read, “President Trump has accomplished more in his first month in office than any President in history.  He won the election by more votes than any President in history.  He had a bigger inaugural crowd size than any President in history.  He makes the best decisions of any President in history.  He has the least connections with Russia of any President in history.  He has best relationship with the Media of any President in history.  His administration is the least chaotic and has the fewest leaks of any President in history.  Any news that disputes this is fake news by dishonest journalists.”

The party was reported to include a country band no one had ever heard of and fireworks given by the Chinese in exchange for the US withdrawing from the TPP.

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