A new survey released today shows that the majority of Russians have reservations about President Trump and are beginning to wonder if they elected the right person to lead the free world.
Ellanna Portichenko, a grandmother of three, insisted that she, “assumed Trump would put on his big boy pants,” after assuming office. She went as far to say,”I’m pretty embarrassed I voted for him to be President of the United States.”
“I just couldn’t bring myself to vote for Hillary,” said fish monger and local drunk Alexei Popov. “She had this smugness and sense of superiority that turned me off. Unlike Trump’s sense of smugness and superiority which I didn’t mind for some reason. But that man is not stable, I see that now.”
Boris Petrov, FSB Director of Mischief blamed the election outcome on years of GOP meddling. “Gerrymandering is a big problem in the U.S.,” he stated. “Republicans have practically ensured that all the Russian ballots we send over are tallied in rural counties in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, while they concentrate liberal votes in a small number of urban districts. But that isn’t how a democracy is supposed to work, assholes!”
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