In a news conference just minutes ago, President Trump, the 45th leader of the United States, stunned onlookers as he made a blatantly true statement.
“Boy was I surprised,” said an anonymous member of the press corps. “One minute he was going off about all the “bad hombres” trying to cross the border and then suddenly he takes a left turn to explain how Type II Diabetes affects over 9% of Americans and how we really need programs that encourage people to eat healthy and exercise.”
“This was unlike anything we’ve seen from this President,” said another reporter. “I mean he constantly makes shit up for weeks and now suddenly stands there and comes up with an honest to god fact. Unreal!”
The reporter who prompted Trump’s answer was obviously caught off guard but managed a broken, “Ta-hank you Mista Prezeedint” as he struggled to form words. Moving on, Trump then explained how he actually won 90% of the votes that count when you didn’t include the type of loser who watches CNN.
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