Unexpectedly waking without a hangover this morning, local man Jeff Heimer began wondering if his Friday night had been a complete waste.

“I know I had a few beers,” recalled Heimer. “Maybe more than a few. But I guess all the pizza laid down a pretty good base of carbs.” As he tried piecing together the previous evening, from the time he spent drinking and playing Xbox at Brian’s house to the late night drinks and apps with friends at O’Henry’s, he couldn’t help but worry his whole Friday night had actually sucked. “I work hard all week so that I can blow off some steam on the weekend. I’d hate to have squandered the little free time I get.”

Upon standing, Heimer was relieved to find he was actually still drunk. After he’s done throwing up in the shower, he plans to spend most of Saturday holding his head in his hands.

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