With Inauguration Day finally upon us, Almost Real News has compiled a list of the things you need to bring if you plan on attending the star studded event.

  • All your old copies of TV Guide to help figure out who these entertainers are.
  • Plastic ponchos for those in the first three rows, as you will get wet.
  • Flask full of Trump brand vodka.
  • Annotated copy of the Constitution and Bill of Rights just in case he says something that doesn’t seem quite right.
  • Envelope with note proving you predicted it when instead of Trump taking the stage all the Jumbotrons start blasting Rick Astley.
  • Mini American flag and mini Russian flag to be prepared for which way the crowd is leaning.
  • Trump drinking game where you take a shot whenever he says great, huge, wall, loser, sad, enemies, media… you know what, make that two flasks of Trump brand vodka.
  • Paper bag to hyperventilate into once you realize no one is going to stop this.

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