On the eve of President-Elect Trump officially becoming the 45th President of the United States, The People’s Republic of China announced a plan to immediately raise tariffs 5% on all imported American products in a so called preemptive strike against President-Elect Trump’s planned trade war with China.

In explaining the decision, the Chinese Foreign Ministry said, “We can’t just let President-Elect Trump bully us and threaten to raise tariffs on Chinese products.  We will soon be the world’s largest economy and the Americans need to learn to respect us.  Once Washington stops interfering in the Asian Pacific region and treats China with the respect we deserve, we will drop these tariffs immediately.”

Trump instantly took to Twitter in a series of posts:

“Bad China!  Bad China!”

“I’ll see your 5% tariff and raise you 10%!  And you have to pay for the wall with Mexico now too!  Losers!”

“All Chinese People are banned from America.  Mexicans & Muslims, you can stay now.  Chinese got to go.”

“I’m making Taiwan the 51st state.  And giving them all the nuclear weapons they want for FREE!  Take that China!”

Markets responded unfavorably to the President-Elect’s comments, tumbling 12% in a single day and zeroing out the post election gains many had attributed to Trump’s victory.

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