With a particularly caustic campaign season behind them, members of the House and Senate are finding creative ways to show the President-elect they are willing to find common ground. Below are some of the many ways congressional leaders are trying to ingratiate themselves with the new administration.

  • Styling their hair in Trump’s signature coif.
  • Writing positive Yelp reviews for the Trump International Hotel DC.
  • Learning the old soft shoe to keep POTUS entertained between meetings.
  • Marrying a European model so they’re on the same page when discussing how to build a successful relationship.
  • Removing library of security briefings and replacing with shelves full of Art of the Deal.
  • Creating new congressional intern partnership with Miss USA.
  • Calling up the President of Taiwan, just to say hi.
  • Using their single 15 minute break in between hours of political fundraising calls to Retweet whatever crazy shit was posted today.

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