The nonpartisan research firm PerryUndem recently released the results of their 2016 survey in which they found the majority of Republican men believed it would be easier to be a woman in today’s world than to be a man.
“It’s always going to be a man’s fault today,” said Steve McIntyre, a retired boat captain from Maine. “A woman can get away with anything by just saying it’s her time of the month. But for men, what excuse do we have?” Justin Thomas of Wisconsin agreed, “White men just can’t get ahead anymore and it just makes me so damn depressed. So I’ve started wearing women’s underwear just to, I don’t know, feel a little more confident I guess.”
Many Republican men appear to have begun similar efforts as retailers report a surge in white men over 50 shopping for large bras and fishnet stockings as well as a smaller increase sales for extra large sundresses.
Conservative voter Tim Alden says when he wears a dress and some light rouge out in public he knows he gets more attention. “It’s like when I’m talking to someone now and they see me, their eyes go a little wider and they really start to listen to what I’m saying. I might be yelling at the cashier of a Carl’s Jr. or yelling at the attendant at the DMV. Where ever I am people try get me what I need as quickly as possible and send me on my way.”
Republican strategists are somewhat at a loss for what this development might mean for future elections, but have assured Almost Real News that they will continue to support policies that safeguard the freedoms Republicans care about and viciously deny anyone freedoms that Republicans dislike.
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