The results of a nation wide survey came in today and have confirmed that you are, indeed, a moron.

With more than seven million people responding across all racial groups scattered across the United States and Puerto Rico, the survey has proved without a doubt that you really are an idiot. Furthermore, your life has been a complete failure up to this point and, since you squander every chance you get, that isn’t going to change.

“It really is astounding how dumb they are,” said one of your coworkers. “I’d feel sad for them if they weren’t also such an asshole.”

“They’ve always been a disappointment to me,” said your Mom. “Sometimes I wish they were dead.”

Critics of the survey have suggested that the questions about looking like an idiot may not have been completely relevant. But the authors point out that looks only made up for roughly 12% of the total questions and surely are somewhat related to your overall lack of judgement. They pointed to your outfit today as a prime example of the kind of dipshit you are.

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