Economists from the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis released a new study today showing that all of life’s problems tend to melt away as soon as you earn $100 million dollars a year.

This is a departure from other studies which have suggested that the increase in people’s happiness from increases in income begins breaking down around $75,000 a year. “We have found that while the utility of income plateaus somewhat as you get close to earning six-figures, it dramatically improves once you get to nine-figures,” said the Director of Microeconomic Research Donnel Cartwright. “I mean, like, when you have a total butt load of cash.”

The study goes on to show that while the typical American family must deal with many competing budgetary constrains from anything like buying braces for your children to medical care for a spouse, once you achieve a high enough income level you can just buy an entirely new family.

“This study is truely ground breaking and should revolutionize they way the average consumer thinks about money,” remarked Cartwright. “I have advised my own children to avoid career paths that pay anything less than $10 million out of college if they want a life with any hope of happiness.” Mr. Cartwright then went on to jumpstart his 2003 Corolla and begin his miserable drive home.

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