Democrats found themselves stunned today as President Trump ordered his EPA administrator to drain a swamp in Florida. Having assumed that “drain the swamp” was a metaphor for ridding Washington of corrupt politicians, many were shocked to learn Trump was actually just looking to remove some wetlands next to his Mar-a-Lago estate.

Responding to criticism from House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi that Trump was totally out of touch with the American public, Trump advisor Kelley Anne Conway responded, ‘Trump has a mandate from the voters to drain this swamp and he will not back down from any Democrat who is standing in his way.’

Officials seeking to halt the project cited concerns about endangered wildlife living in the vicinity of the swamp. Trump immediately took to Twitter, bashing the animals as ‘losers’ and ‘not real Americans.’

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