President-Elect Trump held a surprise press conference today where he began outlining specific steps toward keeping his primary campaign promise to make America great again.

‘A lot of really, really great people came together this November who wanted to ensure our country starts moving forward,’ said the President-Elect. ‘I promised I would make America great again and I will do that like no one else can. Beginning with the all you can eat buffet at the newly remodeled Starlight Restaurant in the Trump Hotel Newark.’

The President-Elect continued, ‘With a menu including both steak and seafood, this buffet is a tremendous deal for the American people at an unbelievable price of $34.95 per person.’

While much of the rhetoric of the Trump campaign revolved around creating jobs and rewriting legislation on things like immigration or trade deals, many critics railed against the then candidate to become the 45th President of the United States for what they saw as vague promises with little chance of becoming reality. Trump was, however, very clear in his remarks about what the public would be getting with this new initiative. ‘Today I’m bringing you the kind of change that this country needs. Change that will allow every man, woman and child to finally feel like they are getting ahead when they see the shrimp we’ve got. They’re huge folks, absolutely huge.’

‘Now while it is true that drinks are not included,’ Trump admitted ‘even so, I’ve personally made sure that anyone, and I mean anyone, who purchases a large drink will receive a commemorative 45 ounce cup to take home with them.’

Trump left the podium with promises to hold another press conference within the first six months of taking office.

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